Xander's Apple Part Five

[spiceblueeyes]

Okay, this part is pretty short, only 796 words, but my muse went on vacation last week and wasn't cooperating. I'm hoping that by posting this, it will jump start the writing muscles again. Hopefully the next chapters will be longer.
Title: Xander's Apple
Rating:PG-13, just to be safe.
Warnings:none
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, it's sad, but true.
Summary: The talk.

Previous parts here.

 

Part Five

Twenty minutes later Xander was finished with his shower and Spike was done with the mundane chores in the kitchen. They’d both changed into sweat pants and were shirtless; it was Saturday after all, why not be comfortable?

Lying on top of the covers, Xander was snuggled up to Spike, back to front, and Spike had his arms wrapped around him. They both needed the comfort of each other’s touch for the upcoming discussion, but thought it would be best to not be face to face.

“So…” Xander started, “do you think we can talk about this without bursting into unmanly tears?”

Spike snorted into Xander’s hair, “I’m not the one with over active tear ducts mate.”

“Hey,” Xander protested, “excuse me, but who was the one crying when we watched Mask*?”

Spike countered quickly, “Who was the one who rented the bloody movie in the first place? It was as bad as that sodding Beaches movie!” He shifted uncomfortably, “not that I’ve seen that it or anything.”

“Yeah, you so have. I bet you cried too. I can see it now, the Big Bad with an empty box of tissues and the chick flick to end all chick flicks.” Xander chuckled at the image, “and for the record, Buffy told me that movie was about zombies, I didn’t know it wasn’t until I’d already brought it home.”

Nuzzling his face into the back of Xander’s neck, Spike sighed, “my gullible Scooby.” His arms tightened their hold around Xander briefly, and just like that the tone of the conversation changed from teasing to serious. “I never want to let you go, but…” hesitating, he blinked back tears; guess Xander was right about him after all. Xander reached up with one arm and gave Spike’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “But I did some thinking last night, and…I…will.” He took a deep breath to steady himself, “I heard what you said, and as much as I want to be selfish and keep you with me, you wouldn’t be the same as a demon. I’d still love you, but you wouldn’t be the same.” After placing a small kiss on Xander’s shoulder, he continued, “I’ll love you till the day I’m dust, and some gray hair won’t change that. I’ll stay with you till your last breath luv.”

Xander felt a cool tear hit his skin, and was having trouble fighting off tears of his own. Spike had just agreed to watch his lover slowly waste away and die. That wasn’t how others might see it, of course, but to a vampire old age and death were unnecessary. To Spike, it was like letting his lover refuse treatment for a curable, but deadly, disease. They just lay there for a few minutes, absorbing and processing Spike’s revelation.

Then Xander drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I love you too Spike, and I want to be with you.” Though Xander couldn’t actually see it, he could picture Spike’s eyebrows draw together in confusion. “I meant what I said, I won’t be a killer, but I talked to Willow and she said she try to help us figure something out. If there’s anywhere in the world where it would be possible for me to be me and be with you forever its gotta be the Hellmouth, right?” He thought it was best not to tell Spike that he would probably let him turn him anyway until they’d exhausted all other options.

Spike had gone very still, he was stunned. The night before had convinced him that what he wanted was impossible, and now Xander was telling him that it may be possible. Suddenly his mind finished its joyous 180 degree turn around and he sat up in the bed and pushed Xander onto his back, leaning down for a kiss that was meant to tell Xander exactly how much this meant to him. He pulled back for a moment, just long enough to ask “really?” and to hear Xander’s response.

“Really,” Xander’s echoing answer was both heartfelt and determined.

The rest of the day was spent showing and telling each other precisely how much each partner’s sacrifice had meant.

At the end of the day Spike was the one laying with his back to Xander’s chest, except this time they were in the bathtub. Both reveling in the heat of the water, they felt, relaxed, sated and happy. Now that they knew what they wanted, which was an immortal, but not immoral, Xander, they only had to find a way to get it. A seemingly unachievable goal, but as two people who had seen the impossible on numerous occasions, it didn’t discourage them.

The answer was out there somewhere, and they would find it.

 

 

*Here is a link to info about the movie Mask if you're curious. If you've never seen or heard of Beaches, then lucky you. It's pure emotional torture :)

Part 6

Comments

[mithril-56.livejournal.com]

Hi there. You asked for comments about the story in general and the apple concept in particular. I read the premise (part 1) after seeing your note, to get the gist of the apple concept, and here are my thoughts:

1. Your writing style is good and your Xander voice excellent (though I may not be the best judge of that, since I don't read much Xander fic, and because of that my thoughts on that character come primarily from the televised eps and not from fanfic.)
2. I'm a big Spike fan (A/S is my OTP) and at least in the beginning part, Spike's dismissive attitude about Xander's concerns re a turning felt a bit OOC to me. However, that is if the timing of this fic is set post Spike's soul, and perhaps not as applicable if it is set pre-soul and pre-chip (which marks the beginning of an artificial soul imo) - couldn't tell from the fic itself, thought I thought, since you imply a relationship that is already underway, that it was post-soul timing.
3. I thought the Apple/Eve analogy was a good one, despite my thoughts on Spike's character.
4. Lastly, as one writer to another, I personally feel that first and foremost you should write what you like, regardless of my or anyone else's view of things. I do understand wanting your readership to enjoy your work, but don't let it get in the way of what you yourself enjoy in your fanfic world.

Good job - keep it up and enjoy it!

[spiceblueeyes.livejournal.com]

Thanks for leaving such a great comment!

To address number two, Spike is chipped in this fic, though I can see how that wouldn't really be clear. I'll have to go back and work that in. Thanks for pointing that out.

Thanks so much for all the nice compliments, feedback, and advice. They're much appreciated!

[darthsindel1981.livejournal.com]

just lovely

[spiceblueeyes.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[sablerose2.livejournal.com]

Oh there will be more right? Please say yes!!! : ) Really like the way you write and want more!!!

[spiceblueeyes.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the compliment!
And there will be more eventually, but school starts up soon so I'm not sure when I'll get to it.